- leaps tall buildings in a single bound, is more powerful than a locomotive, bolts up faster than a speeding bullet, walks on water and gives policy to God.
- leaps short buildings in a single bound, is more powerful than a trolley car, bolts up just as fast as a speeding bullet, walks on water if the sea is calm and talks to God.
- JOB STEWARD
- leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable wind, is almost as powerful as a trolley car, bolts up faster than a B-B, walks on water in an indoor swimming pool and talks to God if a special request is approved.
- JOURNEY LEVEL IRONWORKER
- barely clears Quonset huts, loses tug-of-wars with trolley cars, is capable of bolting up, swims well and occasionally addressed by God.
- 4th YEAR APPRENTICE
- makes high marks when trying to leap buildings, is run over by trolley cars, can sometimes torque bolts without inflicting self-injury, can dog paddle and talks to animals.
- 3rd YEAR APPRENTICE
- runs into buildings, recognizes locomotives 2 out of 3 times, is issued bolts for carrying only, can stay afloat if properly instructed and talks to water.
- 2nd YEAR APPRENTICE
- falls over door sills when trying to enter buildings, says, "Look at choo-choo," has seen a bolt at least once in his life and mumbles to himself.
- GREEN APPRENTICE
- lifts buildings and then walks under them, kicks locomotives off the track, carries bolts in his mouth and drives them with his fist and freezes water with a single glance. THEY ARE GOD!!!
a note from me: this was given to me in one of my first classes as an apprentice. on the back there are suggestions on how to take tests well. perhaps this is a comment on the potential that new apprentices have. perhaps it's just saying that the people who run the apprenticeship are loons. generally, as a journeylevel ironworker, i think it's pretty silly. and--yes, i do know that we only have a 3 year program, but don't tell me you don't know any 4th year apprentices.